I've been a foster carer to more than 40 kids for nearly 20 years and it has changed my life

A woman who has been the mother to more than 40 children in Tameside said it has been hard work, but rewarding.

Almost two decades ago, Jennifer Nash was working in a post office where she would see children coming in who looked ‘neglected.’ She believed she could look after them and improve their lives. 

One day when she was out for a walk she saw a banner advertising fostering. It was to change her life. Now, 18 years later, the 73-year-old has cared for more than 40 children from the Tameside area, including twin girls for an 11-year period. 

Even though she has looked after dozens of children, she still keeps in touch with some of them. Jennifer admitted she thinks about all those she has cared for on a regular basis, wondering where they are up to and what they are doing now.

“Very often it depends how long you’ve known them, how well you get on with the parents or the adoptive parents, whether they stay in touch,” the Oldham resident explained. “A child I picked up who was three hours old, who is 11 now, always says that she has three mums, her birth mum, her adopted mum and me – which is nice. 

“It is difficult (seeing them go). We are only human. I have looked after a baby that went on to adoption and I never saw them again. It is not always because of a bad reason as they may go to live far away. I do often think about them, even those who have been a challenge.”

Jennifer explained that it is such a rewarding job to have, and the twin girls she looked after from aged eight to 19 gave her the validation for her hard work when questioned by their mum as to why they still speak to Jennifer. Their response was “well she looked after us for 11 years”, Jennifer admitted this made her feel appreciated.

She went on to highlight that although the work can be challenging, and that every child brings with them trauma and tough backgrounds to deal with, it is one of the best things she could have done. 

“You get moments where you realise you are their anchor, like when they grab your hand for comfort in moments of stress. Those are the moments I cherish looking back.

“Some of them still call me grandma when I see them. I do still see quite a few of the children and keep in contact. It is up to them or not whether they want to keep in contact.”

She joked that if she went to see them all every week she wouldn’t be doing anything else because there have been so many.

Now in her 70s, Jennifer has stepped away from being a full time foster carer. Her new role within the fostering industry is as a respite carer, covering emergencies with a breadth of different fostering opportunities that can fit around life and work commitments.

Jennifer explained that there is always support on offer for foster carers supporting children. More hands-on help is offered to first time foster carers, she recalled. 

Jennifer was 55 when she decided to become a foster carer, having already raised three daughters, who she says have really helped in her second career given their work in social work, psychology and mental health nursing – providing help and advice to her. Referencing all the knowledge she has gathered over her 18 years in the field, she said “I wish I knew then what I know now”.

When asked by the Local Democracy Reporting Service what she would tell anyone considering becoming a foster carer, Jennifer responded: “I won’t sell it to someone if they had no inclination to do so. This is not a bag of potatoes you’re dealing with, these are people, who have had very traumatic times behind them and they need hard work as well as unconditional love and understanding.

“It is rewarding work, as long as you go into it with the right mindset. The thought of looking after someone else’s child can put some people off, but you would be amazed with what you can do for them.”

Jennifer stressed that some children can be a challenge as they have had a tough start to life, but some can actually be the opposite and be too compliant. There is a wide variety of experiences she has seen over the years.

When asked about times she has felt emotional when parting with the children, Jennifer confessed: “I only shed a tear when they have gone, never in front of them as it has to be smiles when they go off on their new adventure.”

If you are thinking about becoming a foster carer, Tameside Council is looking for people from all backgrounds to become foster carers. This would involve looking after local children and the council provides full training, support and an allowance.

For more information call 0161 342 2342 or email [email protected] or visit www.tameside.gov.uk/fostering.