I survived two near-death experiences and then got some wise words during chance Steve Coogan meeting

It was the height of the pandemic, people were isolated, confined to their homes, uncertain and scared about the future. Hospital was the last place anyone wanted to find themselves. 

But 2020 was a lot darker for Pete Mackenzie Hodge than it was for most. Around Christmas time, he was blue lit to Wythenshawe hospital, barely conscious, suffering from what he later found out was double pneumonia and then sepsis. 

This was not Pete’s first near-death experience, either. As a 22-year-old, back in 2008, he had just graduated from Manchester Metropolitan University when he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma and given a 50-50 chance of survival.

Having beaten the odds, not once, but twice, the 38-year-old is now sharing his story in his debut book, Delirium Diaries, written using iPhone notes made while coming out of an induced coma and with some encouragement from actor Steve Coogan.

“Dying wasn’t an option”

In early 2009, Pete, who now lives in Urmston, was in the ICU of a Wigan hospital facing a tough decision. 

“I was in a situation where I had to choose between losing my limb or losing my life,” he said. “Even though that was a pretty horrendous decision to make, dying wasn't an option for me.”

As a drummer, the prospect of losing his leg was particularly daunting. He had spent most of the year in and out of The Christie undergoing treatment for a rare form of bone cancer and chemotherapy had left his immune system “shot at”.

Pete recalled: “When I went to the orthopaedic hospital to have surgery, where they replaced my bones with titanium, my immune system couldn't cope with it and my body was like: No, not having any of that.”

But he did pull through. He finished chemo, had the amputation and eventually learned to walk again with a prosthetic. He was even able to drum again with his band Inego, once he’d mastered kicking with his left instead of right leg.

“So much to live for”

Sadly, this was not Pete’s last experience with an ICU. He started to sense something was wrong in September 2020 and rapidly deteriorated around Christmas time – to the point where he was rushed to hospital with double pneumonia. He said that hospitals at that point in the pandemic were “chaos”. He recalls being in A&E at Wythenshawe hospital, “fighting for oxygen” and waiting for a bed. 

He was diagnosed with double pneumonia and then sepsis. As part of his treatment, he was put into an induced coma for 13 days. A lot had changed since his first health emergency. Pete was working as a primary school teacher and was now married to wife Nikki, who had given birth to their daughter Hazel just nine months before. This time he had another important reason to survive. 

Pete told ManchesterWorld: “There was this element of ‘why me, why me again’. But, to be honest, I was so out of it and losing consciousness before the ambulance arrived. I just remember being in the hospital and I remember that the medics came and said: We're going to have to put you on a ventilator and we're going to have to put you in this coma.

“I remember them putting me on my phone to my wife. I remember then thinking that it's not an option to die. I've got so much to live for, I've got my nine-month-old baby at home at the time. I remember saying to them: ‘I know you're going to do your best for me, I need to come through this – for them.’ It was a really turbulent time.”

At that point in the pandemic, there was a strict no visitor policy in hospitals to prevent the spread of the virus. Although his family were unable to see him, their support went a long way in helping him get through the ordeal. 

Pete said: “The worst thing was knowing that my wife was at home with my daughter, Hazel, with no support, with the baby. I can't imagine what Nikki went through. Thankfully, somehow we've survived it all, together. I think what got me through was the love and support of my friends and family.”

“I went to sleep in 2020 and woke up 2021”

Once again, he survived. But while he recovered, he struggled to make sense of what happened during those lost days spent in a coma. He said: “I went to sleep in 2020 and woke up 2021. I was trying to re-piece the jigsaw pieces of my brain a little bit because I was so delirious and confused from all the sedation drugs.”

In this hazy period, he remembers one “mad” dream, in particular, in which he felt like he was having an outer-body experience. He “vividly” remembers seeing himself lying in the hospital bed.  “That was a profound moment. This idea of mortality, I'm not scared of that - even though I was desperate not to die - I felt like I had so much to live for, with my little family.”

He continued: “After I left the hospital, I was really struggling to separate all these mad, traumatic dreams that I was having in the coma to what was actually happening in real life. I found that writing notes in my iPhone helped me process everything a little bit.”

It was these notes that formed the blueprints for his new book Delirium Diaries. He had dabbled in writing years before, when a loved one suggested he tried journaling his experience of cancer treatment. These notes were private, however, he had no intention of sharing his writing publicly – that was until he met Steve Coogan.

“A third chance”

He has his wife Nikki to thank for the encounter. The pair were having dinner in a restaurant in the Lake District when she spotted the Alan Partridge actor. Knowing that Pete is a big Steve Coogan fan, Nikki took the opportunity while Pete was in the bathroom to introduce herself and explain everything her husband had been through. He then came over to chat.

Pete said: “He was actually the one that said ‘you really need to write about your story. I think it would resonate with a lot of people that have been through similar journeys’.”

Pete spent the next two years writing and editing his book, with the help of MA students on the publishing course at Manchester Metropolitan, and is now hoping that his book will help people who have been through similar trauma, particularly during the pandemic. 

He said: “I hope that reading the book will help readers know how resilient we are as human beings and realise that, together, we negotiated our way through such a turbulent time. I dedicate that book to all the frontline workers and the NHS staff that, once again, kept me alive. And I feel so grateful for that. I hope that people who went through similar experiences can find that they can be inspired by the book.”

Delirium Diaries is an exploration of the dreams and memories Pete had while in and out of consciousness. He describes parts of the book as “raw” but there are also lighter moments of humours. As Pete says, quoting Woody Allen, “tragedy plus time equals comedy.” 

What started out as a cathartic way of dealing with a deeply traumatic experience has become a passion for Pete, especially since he had to give up drumming due to the severe tinnitus he developed after his coma. He already has plans for his next book, which he hopes will be something a bit more light-hearted. He has also written a children’s picture book series and hopes to also one day turn his “bone cancer diaries” into a book as well.  

For someone who has faced death twice and lived through some of the worst trauma a human can experience, Pete is abundantly hopeful about the future.

He said: “This sounds corny, but it really feels like a second, well a third chance really. Every day is a blessing and we should try and make the most of each day, as hard as it can be sometimes. We all have bad days, but if we appreciate the little things in life, and count our blessings, it's definitely brought that.”

• Delirium Diaries will be released on 28 October. It is available to pre-order now for £8.99 via the Book Guild Publishing website.
• You can also follow Pete’s journey via Instagram.
• The book will also be available at Waterstones, Amazon, Backstory, WHSmith & Blackwell’s